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geneva_convenience@lemmy.ml to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 year ago

New Edition Of Bible Specifically Mentions Second Amendment

theonion.com

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New Edition Of Bible Specifically Mentions Second Amendment

theonion.com

geneva_convenience@lemmy.ml to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 year ago
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CHICAGO—A new translation of the Bible released this week directly mentions the Second Amendment on eight occasions, and includes a version of Psalm 23 that begins, “The Lord is my shepherd, and the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.” Positive early feedback praised the new edition for its clean design, readability, and beautiful rendering of proverbs that condemn the foolish ban on semiautomatic weapons for personal use. “For the Lord your God walks in the midst of your camp, to deliver you and give your enemies over to you,” Deuteronomy 23:14 reads. “Your camp shall be holy, and if that means exercising your constitutional right to purchase a firearm, then that’s your own damn business.” The leather-bound book also comes with a handsomely crafted carrying case and a fully loaded, custom-monogrammed Glock 17 9mm.
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  • Davidjjdj@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I feel like this is going to be on “not the onion” soon.

    • rImITywR@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      It already is. The Trump Bible exists.

      • schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de
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        1 year ago

        There’s something similar much older than that: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conservapedia#Conservative_Bible_Project

  • flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    1 year ago

    I ate the onion.

  • Grass@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    this reminds me of that time I walked in on my dad wathing fox or some other dumb shit and the woman on the screen was talking about how usa is better than canada because canada doesn’t have a second amendment and they do have a second amendment. These people are too stupid to live, how have they not died from playing with deadly chemicals or something.

  • Belly_Beanis [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    For some additional context: the Onion has been reposting old articles like this one for the last few days that have come true. There were Trump Edition bibles made that also have the Constitution in them, including the 2nd. Ammendment.

    Real :doomer: hours.

  • Squorlple@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    deleted by creator

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