You can get free Priority Mail boxes from the US Post office. https://store.usps.com/store/results/shipping-supplies-boxes/_/N-u9qwm0

I was actually being dead serious.

Given the context of your post, I would suggest starting with the basics. Taking the time to learn how to write properly may give you some ability to speak properly.

I have a really pacific issue

I don’t know if this is typo or if you think your issue is as big as the ocean.

Dude.

Dude.

DUDE.

The penises carved into desk and walls because the sewer backed up? What the fuck??