Shareholders will surely love it when we treat high end professionals like shit

I wish The Onion tasted more like an onion. I keep eating onions.

Look, everyone dies but they manage to sell insurance for that

I am troubled in my heart. I would not have been told so in this way.

Oh hey, I did something right. That’s kinda neat

You’ll be the first we feed to the sentient toilet

It’s honestly impressive that they still have material. Gives me hope

Your in-laws are fired lmao

Animals used to do that!

Okay grandpa, time for your Juvenat injection therapy.

M-DISC, at a guess. The media would last long enough at least for grandkids, who will have bigger things to worry about.