You should look at JTX Board. It’s associated with DAVx5 and they do the vjournal and vtodo standards. They have a list of services that support it. https://jtx.techbee.at/sync-with-davx5

Sounds like you might have ADHD. Anyway, don’t give up. I found mindfulness practice 15 mins a day helped me a lot.

I think part of your problem is you’re comparing yourself to others that are different to you. It’s like thinking you’re lesser because you’re not a tall basketball player, when you’re not meant to be a basketball player. IMO if you can hold a steady job to pay yhe bills that’s probably the first thing. Then a good way to get off the drugs is to focus on exercise and eating healthy. If you can keep that up for a year theoretically you should feel a lot better about yourself. Maybe get into reading books as well. Even the most trashy of books.