Damn this is gonna be a hard 4 years checking for onion.

FTFY.

“…is…is this…oh, ok. No, it’s not real. It’s just skating REAL razor thin to reality.” It’s like when you slice a tomato so thin you can see through it.

That wasn’t autotune. That’s just what older robots sound like.

Ultima Online?

15 years ago, was the early days of twitter, the dying days of myspace, and the point where facebook first became dominant.

You talking about one of those? Because zero chance your myspace are still up.

And facebook/twitter? Ew.

I’m sorry, no. The point when you find yourself relating to libertarians is the time you should really ask yourself two simple questions

1 - Am I a dumbass?

2 - Why am I trying to herd myself in with a group of dumbasses?

Soooooooo…what happens whenever X eventually dies? Does Bluesky just defederate, and say “Haha! It is I who has the most audience, therefore I who dictate the industry!”

Hot or not was a thing until friendster was a thing.

Friendster was a thing, until myspace was a thing.

Myspace was a thing until facebook was a thing.

We’ve seen this line of ups and downs before. Eventually Twitter will be replaced. And then the new thing will be around. As of right now, Bluesky is “federated”, but it REALLY feels like they don’t want to be. Drop of a hat, and they’re defederated. Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t see it.

I want you to imagine signing up for a service that has extroplatratinated defubulinators. And everybody on the service is taking full advantage of it. But you haven’t signed up yet, so your defubulinator needs to be created and calibrated before you can gain anything from it. Now imagine if you had no idea what extroplatratinated defubulinators even were, and you weren’t being given any indication what they do, or how to use them. Imagine you had no idea what I was even talking about. And imagine what you would do if search engines wouldn’t help you figure it out. But here I am, ranting and raving about how much better it is for you than traditional methods. But you couldn’t find ANYONE who used it, or knew what I was talking about either.

So now you just keep living life. Never again taking what I said serious.

Flammable rags…hmmmm, is that an Albany expression? Sort of like Steamed Hams?

I say we start a revolution. We get a bunch of pie crusts. And fill them with whipped cream. And then we collectively go around the country just pieing people in the face, and sticking a clown nose on them. Then we lift them above our heads, and run away.

Their whole culture is based on fear, and conformity. You do the normal thing. People who don’t do the normal thing aren’t with them.

Now imagine walking along the street wearing your trump hat, thinking you’re all cool. Suddenly, BAM!!! PIE!!! CLOWN NOSE!!! And now you’re 8 feet in the air after having taken a surprise cream pie.

It would go against everything that makes their culture what it is.

OHHH!!! OHHH!!! SOMEBODY CREAM PIE TRUMP!!! You KNOW you want to see trump rubbing out a cream pie from his eye.

I haven’t watched the video, and I know it’s The Onion, but based on the headline, I’m still not convinced this is satire. If anything it proves that The Onion now reports legitimate facts.

Mary did.

Thanks Disney.

Who?

…what?

But that’s not what you said.

Not associating with them is fine. I even said “Teach them to distance themselves from conservatives” in my reply. But there is a HUGE difference between not talking to someone, and randomly punching them in the face.

I’m not conservative. But if someone, male or female, or trans, or whomever, if they punched me in the face for no reason I’m punching them in the face right back. And I’m the type of person who doesn’t start fights, but once I’m in one I do end fights.

Now imagine if it were a conservative who ENJOYED hitting women. Imagine they didn’t need a reason, but you just started a fight with them for no reason.

You can end your interaction based on politics, sure. That’s not insane. What is insane is teaching your daughters to go around inciting violence by themselves against a group of people who’s core belief is that women should suffer. It would be like a 1940s Jew in Germany going out and punching a nazi. It’s not going to end well.

Well that just sounds every bit as batshit insane as the far right. Basically giving them justification in their minds for being so cruel to women.

“This one bitch just punched me, for like…no reason. I just said I voted for trump, and then BAM! Shit! She punched me!”

“What did you do then?”

“Oh, a bunch of my boys saw. We held her down and beat her mercilessly. That’ll teach her!”

“Nice.”

And they’ll feel justified. All you’re doing is teaching your daughters how to encourage physical violence, which I promise you, will not wofk out well for them.

Teach them to distance themselves from conservatives, teach them their beliefs, and how they view women. Teach them how a conservative will treat them in the long run.

But don’t teach them to physically attack someone stronger than them, unprovoked, against someone who would take pleasure in returning the violence tenfold.

Yes, that’s the word.

God I hate Earth.

No, the Democratic party ran a candidate that wanted to keep the status quo in a period the whole country needed change.

Name a time in history that “voting for change” isn’t what’s “needed”. The term has lost all meaning for how overused it is. Just like “think of the children” or “save the whales”.

If change is needed every 4 years, then that means 4 years ago you either voted the wrong guy in, or he didn’t do what he promised.

I’ve always been of the belief that campaign promises need to have more importance. If the American people vote for a candidate based on their promises, as they always do, then those promises damn well better happen.

If I campaign, and promise everyone free chocolate pudding. Then by 4 years later, everybody in this country damn well better have chocolate pudding.

Once voted in, it should be a federal crime to stand in the way of delivering campaign promises. So if I contact a pudding company, and they refuse to accept the contract to produce pudding, then the CEO is arrested, and the plant is seized by the government. The staff will be kept on, paid by the government. Anyone who quits will face criminal charges. Long story short, hell or high water, we’re delivering that pudding.

Because what happens if I don’t? Then on re-election day, not only am I barred from running, I’m also publically humiliated, and executed. Live on tv. Broadcast on every channel.

Which means you can’t campaign on vague promises, because then it’s easy to argue that you failed. You have to promise cut and dry easy to prove obligations. And if you fail, you die. If anyone stands in your way, it’s a federal offense.

The underlying problem with this country is that nothing means anything. Nobody stands for anything. Courts have no consequence. Explain to me how a 34x convicted criminal was even allowed to run for office, much less win? Explain how he’s not facing a court date. Explain how he won’t be in jail for his court ordered convictions.

The answer is, this all means nothing. Money rules this country. Fuck you. Fuck the citizens. Fuck justice. Fuck equality. Fuck everybody besides the rich. They fuck you. Not the other way around. I am an American, but I am NOT a patriot. I am ashamed of my country. I am embarrassed by my fellow citizens, and my government alike. You can’t blame one without the other. The citizens voted for fascism. They wanted this. They’re fine with the system being toothless and slanted. I’m just caught up in the crossfire. I’m not the worst affected. I can only feel empathy for those affected. And feel disgust for anyone wearing a red hat with white text.

It’s not a trump specific thing, but it’s the type of thing trump would absolutely allow to happen. It’s like saying kids like candy. Which is true, but it doesn’t mean kids are the ONLY one who like candy. Kids are just the stereotype for the people who love candy the most, because they can’t get enough of it. Trump and corrupt behavior go hand in hand.