I don’t really disagree, but as time goes by, those old ones show their age more and more. I’m using the same one as you for work, and I got a T580 off eBay for personal (replaces my T430s). I don’t know what I’d get if not for used Thinkpads though. One day maybe I can afford/justify one of those boutique Linux laptops.

Edit: I briefly had a T480 and it had problems with the display… apparently widespread.

Newest you can afford. T and P models, or X if you can.

You write well, and you got B’s and C’s in school. This tells me that you’re smarter than you think, but abuse and/or lack of proper support has had an effect on your development and self esteem (which isn’t surprising). You are still at a very young age, when a lot of people are still trying to find their way. I’m not saying any of this to minimize your struggles, but to give you at least a bit of perspective. A lot can change in a year or two when you’re only 23!

For specific advice on resources available to you, it would help people to know at least which country you are in.

One day at a time. Every time you want a cigarette but don’t give in, you have built strength. Use that strength to better resist the next urge. Really internalize that what you are doing is strong and powerful. Each victory accumulates and supports those to come.

Get organized. Nobody ever won their rights by voting, they won by getting together with their neighbors and coworkers and standing up to capital. Unions used to be a major political player in the US, but capital has almost completely destroyed them, with the help of the dems and the repubs. The working class has been hypnotized by trinkets into ceding all political power. We need to claw it back.